Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

Let’s “teach the contoversy” of Dubya’s homosexuality.

April 2, 2010

As the Texas School board is so intent on teaching (manufactured) controversies, I think we should teach the controversy that George W. Bush is a homosexual, which would thus nullify any and all restrictions on gay marriage, adoption rights, ordination, or military service.

Let’s start by revising history and social studies textbooks to add “liberal balance” to otherwise conservatively-skewed, conservatively-biased texts that suggest that George W. Bush is a heterosexual. After all, George W. Bush’s heterosexuality is only a theory, not a fact.

It’s not that I’m attempting to re-write history to support a liberal agenda. It’s just that I’m offering a “less traditional” point of view. The only reason that George W. Bush’s heterosexuality is accepted by mainstream America as “fact” is that this belief is spread by right-wing media and conservative college professors, who have conspired together to perpetuate this unproven theory.

These intellectually elitist conservative professors only hesitate to address this alternative point of view because they’re scared of the controversy; they don’t want to admit that they could be wrong! This is the same reason why they won’t directly respond to people who hold this different point of view.

They say that the believe in democratic ideals and free speech. They say that they want students to think critically about what they’re being taught in school. Yet, the fact that they won’t directly engage me in a debate over this issue is clear evidence that the “gay Dubya” theory threatens their authoritarian grasp on history.

After all, George W. Bush was a cheerleader in high school
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And George W. Bush was photographed kissing another man.

And another time another man was seen photographed Zipping up George W. Bush’s fly.

Surely this can’t be in anyway a misrepresentation of facts!

Plus, I’ve seen the movie Brokeback Mountain, which is about gay cowboys from Texas. Or so I like to think. George W. Bush is also a cowboy from Texas! Some say that Brokeback Mountain is a work of fiction, but there are a lot of people who think that it’s the truth! Shouldn’t we give fair representation to their side of the story? Don’t they and their opinions deserve an equal audience?

Conservatives have yet to produce George W. Bush’s marriage certificate, on which he would clearly have stated his sexual orientation. I am proud to be labeled a “Marriager” and I will continue to ask “Where’s the Certificate?” until he produces it. The fact that both Texas and the Unites States refuse to give me (or publish) a photocopy of George W. Bush’s marriage certificate without question or restriction must mean that they have something to hide!

Yes, historical evidence doesn’t support the idea that George W. Bush is a homosexual. But conservatives can’t offer any definitive evidence that kissing men and having men zip up your fly isn’t gay. If they’re so smart, they should be able to come right out and wow everybody with irrefutable evidence that George W. Bush isn’t gay.

The fact that they haven’t must mean that they’re either not as smart as they claim to be, or that they are running from this debate!

I know that I am not an authority on George W. Bush, nor have I made any particular effort to research him. And despite what many experts say, I still have a strong feeling that he Dubya might be gay. If feelings can guide the Texas school board’s historical revisionism, they can guide mine too!

As the Texas School Board has shown, if your historical and scientific fact do not show your opinions in a positive light, the only logical step is to rewrite history and science while ignoring and marginalizing contradictory facts. It’s a hell of a lot easier and more uplifting than critically examining ones own beliefs.

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No Teacher Left Behind? Not so in Pennsylvania

November 18, 2009

According to its Department of Education’s estimates, The Commonwealth of Pennsylvania has a projected shortage of more than 12,000 teachers. This alarming statistic is exacerbated by Pennsylvania’s Teacher Recruitment Bureaucracy.

Due to under staffing at the Department of Education, a prospective teacher in Pennsylvania has to wait approximately 3 months for the processing of his or her application for teacher certification  (the official word is 8-10 weeks, while unofficial sources within the Department of Education say that the process takes 12 weeks).

While Pennsylvania’s Department of Education assures prospective teachers that their applications are being processed in the most efficient manner”, it neglects to mention that its staff of 20-25 evaluators process around 66,000 applications per year. If you do the math (66,000/261/20 or 25) each evaluator has to process around 10-12 applications per work day.

Whether or not this is an unusually burdensome work load for application evaluators is open to debate.

While 3 months may seem like a short time, it is an eternity in the life of a teacher. Not only does this lengthy waiting period hinder a school from hiring new and enthusiastic teachers for an entire semester, but it increases the likelihood that prospective teachers will pursue other career paths (and ultimately leave the education field altogether) as a result of having to seek other employment in the interim.

As the wife of one excellent, yet jaded teacher put it:

…he did indeed opt for another career path solely for the purpose of feeding and providing a home for his family. Only in the past year has he returned to searching info in the education field. Why did it take so long? He was too busy working at his hourly job. By the time he arrived home, he wanted to spend time with his family before falling into bed, exhausted. There was no time to continue the certification process and/or job search.

A recent letter about this issue was sent to the office of Pennsylvania Governor Ed Rendell; this letter encouraged the Governor to address this problem by adding more staff to the Pennsylvania Department of Education’s Bureau of Teacher Certification and Preparation. In response, his office replied:

… Your suggestions were passed along to the Governor for his review and consideration. Governor Rendell appreciates you taking the time to bring this to his attention. He does not take the input of Pennsylvania’s residents lightly and he always tries to keep their viewpoints in mind when making important decisions.

If you have any additional questions or concerns pertaining to state related issues in the future, please do not hesitate to contact this office again.

To this date, however, no action has been taken. If you would like to contact Governor Rendell about this, you can do so by:

Calling Governor Rendell at (717) 787-2500
Faxing Governor Rendell at (717) 772-8284
Emailing Governor Rendell by clicking here

The Scariest Bathrooms in New York City

March 23, 2009

Everybody is familiar with the “gas station bathroom” nightmare– the gross, in-house outhouses that desperate commuters are expected to settle for on road trips.

For New York City Yellow Cab Drivers, such horrific bathrooms are the daily reality.

Behold, the disgusting world of the bathrooms designated for Taxi Drivers at the Central Taxi Stand at John F. Kennedy International Airport.

Most of the sinks have either broken faucets or broken soap dispensers. Some, like the sink pictured below, have both broken faucets and broken soap dispensers.
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Many of the toilets, such as the one below, do not have toilet seats.
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In fact, many of the bathroom stalls are broken as well. Damage to these bathroom stalls includes:

Bathroom Stall Doors Falling off the Hinges:
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Bathroom Stalls Held Together By String (I believe that it is packing string)
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Bathroom Stalls which, having lost anchor with the wall and floor, are being supported only by a milk crate:
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And of course, as if this should be a surprise, most of the bathroom stalls, like the one pictured below, do not have working locks.
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The City of New York is however, kind enough to supply its Taxi Drivers with working XCelerator Automated Hand Dryers (not pictured).

Incidentally, look at the below picture. Notice that there are no signs designating “Mens” and Women’s” Bathrooms. That’s because 0318090550bathrooms are not provided for women at JFK International Airport’s Central Taxi Stand. Those who wanted to make a guess about the demographics of Taxi Drivers based on the empirical evidence gathered at the Central Taxi Stand would wrongly assume that all the Taxi Drivers in New York City are Men. They aren’t.

There is a conspicuous lack of women at The Central Taxi Stand because The City of New York does not provide facilities for its female Taxi Drivers. Given that a fare from JFK International Airport (which requires Taxi Drivers to queue at the Central Taxi Stand) can pay off almost half of a Taxi Driver’s daily lease, this deprives female taxi drivers of an opportunity afforded to their male counterparts.

As you can see from these photos, the condition of the bathrooms at the JFK International Airport Central Taxi Stand are deplorable, even by mens’ standards.

Why does the city of New York show such disregard for its Taxi Drivers?

Is it because most of New Yorks Taxi Drivers are immigrants? (Or come from immigrant families?)

Is it because most of New York’s Taxi Drivers possess less than a college education?

Maybe it’s because New York City Taxi Drivers depend on the Central Taxi Stand for their livelihood and as a consequence, do not have the luxury of opportunities to boycott a businesses that has such filthy, disgusting bathrooms.

If you could like to join me in complaining to the City of New York, here is what you can do:

Email Mayor Bloomberg by clicking here

Email Matthew W. Daus, the Commissioner of the New York Taxi and Limousine Commission (TLC) by clicking here

Now that we can ban “A Visit to Cuba”, let’s ban Sesame Street too!

February 12, 2009

The 11th Circuit Court of Appeals should be applauded for upholding the Miami-Day School District’s ban on the K-2 Social Studies Book A Visit to Cuba.

A Visit to Cuba, which attempts to teach 5-7 year old children about the culture, geography, and lives of children in Cuba, was rightfully banned because it “presents an inaccurate view of life in Cuba” by failing to address the atrocities wrought by the Cuban Dictatorship.

Concerned parents should take this decision to push for a ban on Sesame Street as well. Like A Visit to Cuba, Sesame Street presents an inaccurate view of life by failing to address adult politics.

Below is a breakdown of how many of the characters on Sesame Street represents a failure to provide our young children with the correct political education:

Bert and Ernie: As flagrantly homosexual domestic partners, Bert and Ernie should be used to educate young children on the complex issues of gay rights and sexual identity.
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Big Bird: As a gigantic bird, Big Bird should be used to educate children about the dangers of Avian Flu.
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Oscar the Grouch: As a perpetually angry monster who lives in a trash can, Oscar the Grouch should be used to educate children about the issue of homelessness, the benefits of Prozac,  and the shortcomings of unionized waste management.
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Santa Claus is the Antichrist

November 19, 2008

santa-evil1Christian theology suggests that the Antichrist will be able to work counterfeit miracles, will oppose Christ,  and substitute himself in Christ’s place. The Antichrist is here, and his name is Santa Claus.

Yes, you read that correctly. I believe that Santa Claus is the Antichrist. Santa Claus already has a well-established following that opposes and acts as a substitute for Christianity. In fact, Santa Claus overshadows Jesus in every possible way, and on his birthday no less.

Santa Claus is the center of the media’s attention in the Christmas season because, by comparison, programming about Jesus isn’t captivating. Yes, the nativity is sweet, but the plot is rather rigid and the theme doesn’t inspire spinoffs. Likewise, the nativity is devoid of opportunities for catchy jingles, special effects, pop culture relevance, or tie-in marketing.

Santa Claus inspires people to celebrate the birthday of a man who eschewed materialism by splurging on gifts. But because Santa loves giving people large, expensive gifts that look great under a Christmas Tree and are exciting to unwrap, everybody else should too. Not that they can’t buy large, expensive gifts that are too big to fit under the Christmas Tree, of course.

It’s easy to see how Santa Claus has been positioned as the new God. He’s a larger-than-life, jolly man with superhuman powers who lives in a magical realm. With the help of his reindeer and elfin friends, he makes and distributes toys to all the well-behaved children in the world, and he punishes badly-behaved ones only with a lump of coal.

By contrast, while Jesus is the Son of God and the Savior of Man, his strongest public image is as a man being tortured to death.

Santa Claus is the perfect Antichrist, really. It’s almost universally unpopular to hate him and he encourages people to behave in ways that make them forget or ignore Jesus’ teachings.

Ironically, Santa Claus wouldn’t have such a strong opposing influence if Christ’s most dedicated followers would stop decrying, harassing, and boycotting stores that replace the word “Christmas” with secularly accessibly terms like “holiday”.

But it’s probably too late now anyway. The War on Christmas has been won, and the victor is Santa Claus and his corporate minions.

Rob Zombie: An Unorthodox Champion of American Values

November 18, 2008

Most people know Rob Zombie as a rock star, film director, and horror enthusiast. He has had a profound effect on American culture, both among the Evangelicals whom he makes nervous, and among the counter-culture, whom he inspires. Yet, his public image aside, Rob Zombie is a champion of of American Values.

Rob Zombie, born Robert Cummings Jr, was born to middle-class parents who, after years working in carnivals, settled down to raise Rob and his brother in the small, suburban town of Haverhill, Massachusetts. The boredom that Rob Zombie endured there pushed him to find escape through countless hours of television, through which he developed his fascination with horror movies.

Not satisfied with being simply a fan, Rob Zombie relentlessly dedicated himself to being part of the culture that he loved so much. Despite unfruitful tenures at New York City’s Parsons the New School for Design and Pratt Institute, Rob Zombie nonetheless broke into the entertainment industry as a bike messenger for Pee Wee’s Playhouse, during which he founded White Zombie, the horror-themed alternative metal band that would eventually go Platinum.

When asked during an interview with HollywoodJesus.com if he had a message for his fans, Rob Zombie replied:

Do what you want with your life and don’t listen to anyone. The people around you always try and stop you because they are afraid that you will succeed.

Despite his unorthodox public persona, Rob Zombie’s personal life is surprisingly orthodox. An avowed “ethical vegetarian” since seeing a slaughterhouse film in high school, Rob Zombie has also avoided drug and alcohol abuse. As he puts it, “I certainly didn’t achieve anything by being wasted and f*cked up.” Similarly, his albums (although often laced with graphic imagery) are, with a handful of exceptions, devoid of profanity.

While Rob Zombie has his own strong opinions, he also shies away from imposing them on others. By his own admission, Rob Zombie believes that

“It is best to not discuss Religion or Politics. It always ends in broken noses…because it upsets people to question their faith in things be it Jesus or George Bush. It’s easier to just get angry.”

Rob Zombie’s non-imposing activism was evidenced in a 2007 Thanksgiving message that he recorded for PETA’s holiday hotline in which he praised turkeys, decried Butterball’s slaughterhouse treatment of them, and urged supporters to call Butterball and tell them to stop the torture of “these gentle, smart, and social birds”

In a similarly-minded display of activism, Rob Zombie also encouraged his myspace fans to participate in the electoral process in a non-partisan November 3rd, 2008 blog post:

‘I’m not telling you how to vote. That is up to you. I just thought it would be interesting to hear how you all feel about things. But be smart if you comment. Don’t just start calling each other names. It’s America, so if you really believe in it, then everybody should be heard.”

Rob Zombie is married to Sherri Moon Zombie, his companion of nearly 20 years, and although they have no children, they still espouse traditional, middle-class family values. They welcome trick-or-treaters to their house on Halloween, and they have even toned down their Halloween decor after discovering that it frightened them away.

In Rob Zombie, we have a cultural icon who is a positive American Role Model. In the founding spirit of democracy, he affirms his own beliefs while respecting those of others. He abstains from drug and alcohol abuse while embracing traditional, monogamous relationships. And lastly, Rob Zombie shows us how the power of ambition can help us achieve our dreams, no matter how bizarre they are.